Yvonne Bertovich
Even if you can’t physically be there for someone you love, you can still show up for them emotionally. Our world is as connected as it ever has been. Yet, real, deep connections may feel few and far between. How can you show a loved one you really care if they are going through one of the hardest periods of their life? How can anything ever be enough?
Though you may feel like you’ll never do “enough” for your loved one, effort alone is enough. We’ve provided a variety of ways to be there for a loved one for a range of different scenarios. This includes if they have lost a loved one, is going through another hard time, or they are sick.
How to Be There for Someone Who Lost a Loved One
Losing a loved one is arguably one of the hardest things anyone will ever go through. And, unfortunately, it will happen to just about everyone.
- Cook or bake for them
Home-cooked meals and baked goods are something to celebrate on even the best days. Imagine how good it’ll feel to your loved one if you present them with something you’ve made from scratch? Even if it’s just a fresh box of mac and cheese, they will likely love that you tried anyway (and may laugh a little, too).
You may choose to cook one of your signature dishes or recreate one of your loved one’s favorite meals from the two of you dining out together. And, if it’s a total disaster, perhaps the two of you can complete a second attempt together.
- Help them around the house
Like running errands, keeping a clean home is often difficult when we’re at our best — much less at our worst. Dealing with a death in the family, especially if your loved one lost someone they lived with, may have a hard time touching anything in their home.
While this is understandable, there are examples of healthier grief rituals than foregoing regular housekeeping.
- Remind them of their sense of humor
You can get creative with how to go about this, but it’s important not to let your loved one forget how to laugh. Even if you’re not one for stand-up yourself, it’s likely that you know something that will make your loved one remember happier days.
You can watch a few of your favorite comedies together, recall some embarrassing stories, and just act like your truest selves — no matter how “embarrassing.”
- Set an appointment
Of course, there aren’t just four ways for how to help a grieving friend or loved one. One way to keep your commitment to your loved one who’s grieving, however, is to set an appointment with them.
You can work out among your schedules how often this “appointment” should occur and what it will entail. Whether it’s a daily five-minute chat on the phone, a weekly brunch date, or a monthly trip to the beach, you should intentionally set aside time for the people who need you most — and keep your word.
How to Be There for Someone Going Through Another Hard Time
A “hard time” is subjective. Maybe your loved one is experiencing a temporary hardship or an ongoing battle. No matter what the case may be, showing up for them — if even in tiny ways — can make all the difference.
- Create a memory jar for them
Creating a memory jar of inside jokes, short stories, and other things personal to the two of you is a unique way to remind your loved one of better days, and give them hope for better days ahead.
You can even tailor the memory jar to reflect a specific time in your lives, such as when the two of you were in college or time the two of you spent with each other’s families growing up.
- Take a trip with them (if even locally)
Sometimes everyone could use a change of scenery, even if it’s just for a drive around town. Taking your loved one on a trip either locally or farther away is a great way to help them get their mind off of what’s bothering them.
You shouldn’t necessarily shut down their desire to have tough conversations during the trip, but it’s likely you can shift their focus to be a little bit more positive and forward-focused, if only for a few minutes at a time.
- Run errands for them
It’s often the little, yet essential, tasks that become the most difficult during hard times. You may hear about people not wanting to leave their homes during hardships, even if it’s for something as enticing as a good meal.
You can likely help your loved one out a great deal by running errands either for or with them (if they’re up for it). Sometimes all someone needs is company, even if they don’t want or know how to ask for it.
It’s likely, too, that their emotions will be running high during this time. You being there can shield them from losing it over those little snags and inconveniences that seem to arise when we least need them.
- Share a unique experience
This idea may sound vague, but perhaps you and your loved one aren’t much of risk-takers. Or, perhaps one of you is and the other is not. Though the hard time they are going through isn’t something that should be forgotten, it’s important to create new memories, too.
A great way to do this is to share some sort of new experience. Whether it’s crossing something off of your bucket lists or getting a tattoo together, there’s likely an activity that can become uniquely yours.
How to Be There for Someone Who’s Sick
It may seem particularly difficult to be there for someone who’s sick, especially if their condition prohibits visitors.
However, there are still ways for you to show you’re there for them that are pretty impactful. You can easily create the feeling that you’re there in the room with them, even if you can’t be.
- Check in via text or DM
The most foolproof way to be there for someone when you can’t actually be there, of course, is to text or DM them. With gifs, videos, and more on social media, it’s unlikely that your conversations will be very dull.
You can even choose to quote entire movies together or send some of your favorite song lyrics back and forth. And, if that gets old, entertain them by sending them videos of you just being you.
There are also tons of games and other apps that enable connectivity even when it feels like you’re worlds apart from the people you love the most. Of course, it’s important to ask how you can help, above all else.
- Send him or her a useful gift
If your loved one is fidgety or hates not feeling “productive,” you can send them a portable new hobby or way to channel their energy. Whether it’s something simple like a book of crossword puzzles or an elaborate wood carving kit, you’re sure to think of something they will love.
Whenever they work on it, they’ll be thinking of you. Hobbies that keep the hands (and the mind) busy are a great way to pass the time. Plus, it’s likely that the hobby will create tangible mementos for your loved one to enjoy afterward.
- Virtually read to them or watch a movie together
If your loved one doesn’t care for video chatting, or you’d just like to mix up a virtual activity for the two of you to do together, you may choose to read them a book or watch a movie together.
There are capabilities of some streaming services, such as Netflix Party, that allow you to sync pausing to have a discussion or take snack breaks. And, a bonus idea, if your loved one is staying somewhere with windows or is otherwise accessible, you can surprise them and show up outside—just be sure it’s not during a startling part of a show or movie.
- Write a book about them or make art for them
Creating something with your own two hands may sound intimidating — but whether or not your short story or art piece can stand up to critics isn’t the point. It’s quite likely no matter how “good” or “bad” your creation is, the more it will make your loved one smile.
You may choose to write them a book about a specific memory you have of the two of you or even a longer work about their life. You may also be interested in our post on how to write a commemorative speech.
When it comes to the particular art piece you may choose to make, you should remember that art is subjective. It doesn’t have to be a canvas. Perhaps you’d prefer to draw a scene on a cookie cake instead.
Just Listen
What connects all of these different ways in which you can be there for someone you love? Just listening. Listen to them. Even if they don’t have much to say at any given time, listen to their silence, too.
It can often say a lot. Listening is the best way to build a better understanding of anyone and anything. In order to help your loved one, you have to fully understand what they are going through. Only then can you help them better focus on healing. For more resources, such as understanding death positivity, check out the rest of Cake.
18 Simple Ways To Show Your Loved Ones You Genuinely Care For Them
Your loved ones mean the world to you
People we hold closest are the ones who matter the most in our life. They are our treasure, our support system. Yet we take them for granted. Living with them day in and day out, we assume most gestures as ‘understood’ and leave the simplest things undone.
Busy and self-absorbed and motivated to pursue our own goals, further our own needs, and solve our problems, we have little time (and inclination) to make them feel special.
It doesn’t take much to make someone feel you genuinely care about them. You just need to be a little sensitive and make a conscious effort to go beyond the superficial and let your actions speak louder than words.
Here are 18 ways you can show your loved ones you care.
- Show Genuine Interest In Their Life.
Be interested in what’s going on with them. Learn about their work, hobbies, and passions.
Pay attention to what they are enthusiastic about, talk to them about it, and see how you could be of help. It is not only the easiest way to connect with them but also the best way to make them feel you value and truly care about them.
- Have Empathy For Them.
Feel what others are feeling and be mindful of their thoughts. Putting yourself in their shoes will give you a perspective of what they are going through and this little gesture will go a long way to reassure them that you understand them.
- Help Them Further Their Goals And Reach Their Full Potential.
For most people, their life goals are their topmost priority. If you get an inkling that a loved one is experiencing trouble reaching their goals, don’t wait for them to ask you for assistance.
Contribute in all possible ways that you can. Help them get over their limiting beliefs and mental barriers and perceived limits. Boost their confidence, motivate them to keep going, strive for more and be the best they can be.
- Be There When They Need You.
It is important to make your loved ones feel secure especially when they are upset, have faced failure, or experienced hardships in life. Be there for them at that moment because this is when they need you the most.
Comfort them, reassure them and offer your unconditional support. It can make a big difference in their life and will give them the strength to bounce back from the setbacks.
- Help Them Solve Their Problems And Resolve Issues.
Everyone has their set of problems that hassle them daily. Spend time with your loved ones to get an insight into their problems and see how you can help make their life simpler and easier.
Related: How To Develop A Problem-solving mindset
- Don’t Judge Them.
No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws, falters, or errs sometimes or the other. So avoid judging and criticizing them. Practice patience and tolerance; accept them the way they are.
On your part, see how you can help them improve and add value to their life. Look beyond their mistakes, appreciate their positives, raise their self-esteem, and make them feel good about themselves. This will go a long way in strengthening the bond and win over their confidence.
Related: How To Improve Self-Esteem
- Celebrate Their Successes.
Show your loved ones they matter. Acknowledge their hard work, congratulate them on their success and celebrate small victories with them when they achieve their goals- big or small.
Genuinely feel happy that they have made progress towards their vision. Sincerely admiring their efforts and commending their work will keep their morale high and motivate them to reach higher goals.
- Respect Their Time And Priorities.
Understand that each one has their priorities and work according to their schedule. It is inappropriate to disturb others when they are focusing and working on something important.
Also calling up or dropping in at odd hours should be avoided. Be punctual when you are expected to see them. Observing these basic etiquettes will communicate to them that you care for them and value their time.
- Don’t Intrude Into Their Privacy.
No matter how close you are to your family and friends, never cross the line and intrude into their privacy. Respect boundaries. Don’t ask direct and personal questions if they are unwilling to share personal things with you. Avoid probing at all costs and be careful not to invade their personal space.
- Give Them Positive And Honest Feedback.
You would be unfair to your loved ones if you only show them their positive side. To show you sincerely care and want to help them better themselves, you need to show them their blind spots. But don’t bluntly pick up their flaws or make fun of their shortcomings.
Gently point out their mistakes and weaknesses and make suggestions to overcome them. A few words from your side can prove to be valuable for them.
- Share Their Burden Of Responsibilities.
Everyone has their hands full when it comes to working. But once in a while take time out and lend a helping hand. Assist family and friends with their stuff.
Help them with a difficult task, run an errand or take care of some of the things they need to do. Showing your eagerness to share their burden of responsibility will demonstrate your genuine interest in them.
- Pep Them Up When They Are Feeling Down.
No matter how strong a person is, each one has their low times when feelings of depression and emptiness sneak in. This is the time when you should be around your near and dear ones and cheer them up.
Distract them from those agonizing thoughts and help them shift their focus from negative to seeing positives in their life. Help them count their blessings. It is a good way to pull them come out of their melancholic state of mind.
- Express Your Gratitude When They Do Something For You.
It doesn’t cost anything to visit a loved one or a treasured friend and thank them for what they did for you.
Expressing your gratitude and appreciating their support would speak volumes about you and convey to them that you acknowledge their help and feel grateful for all they have done for you on different occasions.
- Encourage Them To Share Their Pain With You.
When you see your loved ones overwhelmed by suffering or a personal loss, don’t ignore or adopt a silent approach. Talk to them, comfort them, encourage them to share their pain with you, and let them know you are there with them in their emotional crisis.
Your comforting attitude and positive mindset will have a calming effect, help them come to terms with life, lessen their grief and assist in the healing process.
- Provide A Listening Ear.
Sometimes pent-up feelings can lead to stress, anxiety, fear, and feeling of insecurity. To help your loved ones and show your concern, let them express themselves uninhibited.
Give them your undivided attention and hear them out. This will help you gain their perspective and let them know you understand their situation.
- Hold Their Hand And Make Them Feel Good.
Many times, holding a loved one’s hand is all you need to do to make them feel special and secure. They will feel your warmth. This is one of the easiest non-verbal ways of expressing your love, affection, and care for them.
- Let Them Know They Make You Feel Good.
Everyone likes to know they mean something to someone. Take time out to communicate to your family and friends what they mean to you.
Express your genuine appreciation by telling them that you enjoy their company, love spending time with them, and look forward to meeting them. This will make them feel loved and cherished.
- Spend Time With Them When They Feel Lonely.
If a loved one is going through a rough patch and feeling low, register your presence by being with them. Talk to them about old times, relive favorite memories, go out, or plan a fun activity together.
Spending quality time together will help them get off loneliness, lighten their mood and make them feel better.
No matter where you reach and what you accomplish in life, your loved ones are the only people who will make your life positive, add meaning to it, give you a purpose to carry on, and bring joy and happiness into your world.
So don’t wait for the right time, to show them that you care; do it today.
Pay attention to those who matter to you. Let them know they are worth your time. Be mindful of their needs and feelings. Make sincere efforts to get close to them, understand them, and make them feel special.
It’s not hard to make your loved ones feel special. Simple, thoughtful ways can turn their life around and go a long way to let them know they are important and mean the world to you.
